Another reason to get back on the blog: my birthday is on Monday. I will be turning 31, which is awesome. I have loved being 30. I have no fears or anxiety about it. Life is good.
I had an epiphany the other day, when I was thinking about how amazing 30 was for me–I suddenly remembered how terrible 25 was. It’s strange to think of how much you change in those years, but for me there were specific life-changing events during year 25.
The week after my 25th birthday, my relationship (that started in my senior year of high school–6+ years!), ended. It hadn’t been going well for a while, but it finally, officially ended. What a way to start! I moved in with my parents, which ended up being an amazing thing. If you ever need to take stock and restart your life, move in with my parents. They’re loving, caring, and know how to have fun. After about 4 months of self-evaluation, I moved out and lived alone for the first time. I did not sleep well that first night, but I learned how to kill my own bugs (hint: vacuum cleaner).
During this time, one thing I decided to do (something I had not done in 6+ years) was to say “yes” to [most] everything–parties, dinners, happy hours, etc. This included when my friend, Jess invited me to see her boyfriend’s band play late on a Sunday night in Fort Worth–sure, why not? What else am I doing? I ended up meeting Philip that night (PS that’s the guy I just married) and we started dating a few months later.
Two weeks into dating Philip, I was laid off from my job–my first job out of college (also where I interned my senior year). We all knew lay-offs were coming, but I had so much confidence–I would NEVER be laid off, I was irreplaceable, I was awesome at my job! Turns out that wasn’t true. I didn’t realize how inflated my confidence was (I blame it on the optimism of being in your 20s). I finally understood what being “put in your place” meant. It hurt–emotionally and mentally. It still bugs me to this day, but man I learned a lot about myself and my friends from it. And boy, it was fun to tell your boyfriend of two weeks!!!
I was fortunate to only be unemployed for a month. In that time I kept myself very busy with exercise, job applying, and socializing (on a budget). I found a new job in Fort Worth where my BFF, Erin was working (she got me the job, she’s amazing). I lived in Dallas though. Six months later, I moved to Fort Worth (this actually happened when I was 26 to be clear)–back where I went to college and not physically far from where I went to college and basically, living among the people who currently went to my college. Philip lived in Fort Worth too, so I was happy to move!
Dating Philip and my new life in Fort Worth including going to church again. I grew up going to church, but like many college students, once Mom wasn’t there to wake up me and insist we go every Sunday morning, it didn’t happen. Philip went to an excellent church and had many friends there who welcomed me and became my good friends too. The church offered Dave Ramsey’s “Financial Peace” course. We hadn’t been dating long, but we thought, “Hey, I’m no financial expert…let’s check it out!” I had certainly messed up my finances when I was laid off (no savings and happy to put it on a credit card!) This was very formative for our new relationship–we were motivated to pay off our debt, build up our savings, and make smart financial decisions. It helps us to this day, now that we’re married, to talk about money goals living on a budget! Life changing.
Age 25 in summation: break up, lived with Mom & Dad, Philip, lived alone, laid off, went to church, new job, financial peace!
I spelled out most of age 30 in my last post, but here’s a brief recap: I quit the Fort Worth job and started a Dallas job. Philip and I got engaged. I moved to Dallas. Philip moved to Dallas. Philip and I got married. Those shorts sentences cannot convey the joy and hard work put into that year, but trust me, there was lots of it.
Many other formative things happened in the years between 25 and 30, but had 25 not happened the way it did, I truly believe that I would be on a different path in my life. I was HUMBLED in year 25. I say, insensitively, that everyone should have a year like that in their life–a bad break up, being fired, etc. because it stopped me in my tracks. I learned you can work hard and do you best, but it still may not go how you planned and that’s okay.
Marie Durrett 